Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost
Ezekiel 33:7-11, Psalm 119:33-40, Romans 13:8-14, Matthew 18:15-20
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What should we do when somebody does something harmful?
Sometimes it is fairly easy to decide, and sometimes it isn’t.
Sometimes somebody says something thoughtless, somebody loses their temper, somebody makes a mistake, and we talk about it. They apologize. We forgive them. We move on.
But sometimes people do things that cause real harm. Sometimes they do them repeatedly. Sometimes they refuse to acknowledge what they have done. Sometimes forgiveness is offered and then taken as permission to do exactly the same thing again.
And then the question becomes much more difficult.
What does a Christian community do when somebody repeatedly does something wrong and does not acknowledge or fix it? What do we do?
In his letter to the Romans, Paul talks a lot about sin and the end of the world, and it can be easy to get caught up wondering exactly what he means by all of it. But here he gives us something quite clear:
“Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.”
I always like to start with love. But love is more than a simple emotion – it is an approach to how we see the world – how we discern our entire lives. we cannot simply say the word “love” and be nice and expect that everything is solved.
Paul gives a lovely definition – Love does no wrong to a neighbour.
Maybe that is the sentence we need to underline. What we need to keep hold of when.
One of the things we need to get good when we read the Bible is that not every sentence in a passage necessarily deserves the same emphasis.
We read sentences in paragraphs. We understand that those paragraphs were written in a particular time and place. We read not only the individual words but try and determine where the argument is going. We ask what is at the centre? What is this text trying to teach us?
Here as well as listing out the behaviours we are to avoid. He tells us why. We must avoid behaviours because they cause harm to those around us and … love does no wrong to a neighbour.
Which means that when relationships break down, one of the questions we must ask is: who is being harmed?
That’s where Matthew comes in.
Jesus says, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
And if they listen, Jesus says, “you have regained that one.”
I think that phrase is important: “you have regained that one.”
The purpose of confronting somebody is not to win. It is not to embarrass them or prove that we were right.
The hope is to regain them. To restore relationship.
If that does not work, Jesus says, take one or two others with you. And if that still does not work, bring it to the whole community.
At every stage the hope is that the person will listen, recognize the harm, change, and be restored.
Christianity must take seriously the possibility that people can change. Otherwise, most of us are in a lot of trouble.
We believe in repentance. We believe in forgiveness. We believe that a human being is more than the worst thing they have ever done.
But the desire to restore the person who has caused harm is not our only responsibility.
We also have a responsibility to the person who has been harmed. And to the person who might be harmed next.
And sometimes Christian communities have forgotten that.
We have spoken about forgiveness as though forgiveness means that nothing has to change. Someone causes harm and the person who was hurt is told, “You have to forgive.” Someone abuses a position of authority, and we become so concerned about restoring that person that we forget about the people over whom they still have authority.
But forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending something did not happen. It does not mean abandoning boundaries. And it does not mean exposing somebody else to danger in order to demonstrate how forgiving we are.
Because the person who has done wrong is my neighbour. But the person who has been harmed is also my neighbour. The vulnerable person is my neighbour. The person with both less power and more power is my neighbour. The person who might be harmed tomorrow is my neighbour.
Christian love has to be large enough to hold all of them.
And sometimes that means the community has to say: we love you; we believe that forgiveness and grace are possible for you — and … you cannot continue doing this here.
There can be both forgiveness and consequences.
There can be mercy and boundaries.
There can be restoration to community without restoration to exactly the same position.
And this brings us back to how we read Scripture.
Because today’s Gospel ends with another very famous saying:
“If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”
If we pull that sentence out of its context, it becomes rather strange.
Does it mean that if two Christians agree about something, God has to do it? That certainly does not seem to be our experience. What if two groups of 2 Christians agree about opposite things?
But look at the context.
Jesus is talking about conflict and restoration. He is talking about discernment. He is talking about people trying together to work out what faithfulness requires.
And then he says:
“Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
Context matters. Emphasis matters.
The Bible says many things, but we must ask where the passage is leading us.
And that is especially important when we talk about sin, because it is remarkably easy to become interested in somebody else’s sins.
Much easier than becoming interested in our own behaviour, our own sin.
We can spend enormous amounts of energy identifying who is wrong and which rule they have broken.
But this passage is asking a different question.
What do we do when harm has happened? How do we tell the truth? How do we allow repentance and forgiveness to be possible? How do we protect the vulnerable? And how do we do all of that without giving up on the person who has caused the harm?
There is no neat formula.
Sometimes we will be too quick to exclude.
Sometimes we will be too quick to excuse.
Sometimes what we call justice will really be revenge.
And sometimes what we call forgiveness will really be our desire not to deal with something difficult or someone difficult.
Which is why Jesus does not leave the whole thing with one individual.
Bring another person. Bring the community. Listen. Discern. Pray.
Not because two people agreeing automatically makes them right. Two people can agree and still be spectacularly wrong.
But Christ promises to be present in the difficult work of discernment.
In telling the truth without destroying somebody.
In forgiving without forgetting the vulnerable.
In protecting people without giving up on the possibility of redemption.
And perhaps Paul gives us the question we keep returning to:
What does love require?
Not sentimentality.
Not pretending nothing happened.
Not punishment for its own sake.
Love that tells the truth.
Love that protects.
Love that forgives.
Love that sets boundaries.
Love that believes people can change.
Because love does no wrong to a neighbour. And love, therefore, is the fulfillment of the law.
Amen.