A story from London, Ontario
Catherine Nightingale-Taylor
May 2009
My name is Catherine, I am 23-years old, and a parishioner at Saint James Westminster Anglican Church in London, Ontario. Although no one here knows who I am I have a personal story about Christ Church Cathedral that I would like to share. A story that even now nearly a year after the event the emotions of this experience still resound within me. For me this is a powerful story of realization and freedom, a story I have seldom told. Only recently, while enrolled in a Lay Certificate class through Huron University College, was I compelled to tell this story verbally for the first time. So here I am now, nearly twelve months have passed since my time at the Cathedral my story has been recorded and now I am ready to share it with you, the people of Christ Church Cathedral.
Almighty God, unto whom all hearts be open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit, that we mayperfectlylove thee, and worthily magnify thy holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen
In mid-June 2008 I happened upon Christ Church Cathedral while visiting Montreal with a friend. We found this remarkable place quite unintentionally; as we had planned to spend the day shopping along Rue Sainte-Catherine. I was immediately taken by the building's striking beauty and remarkable history, and when I learned there would be a noon-hour Eucharist I chose to participate in the service while my friend moved on towards the shops along the street.
During my visit to Montreal the time I spent within Christ Church has been something that has resounded within me even to this day; representing a major milestone for me. Having the ability to walk through the doors alone into a completely unfamiliar Church, participate in a worship service and not feel afraid. All things I had not had been able to do in the past; having suffered for years from abusive relationships and situations I was led to not only fear God and all associated with the Church but completely abandon the Church and God Himself. For the first time I found myself at ease in a completely unfamiliar Church.
It was that day in June within the Cathedral spending thirty minutes in quiet worship and prayer where I began to realize how much healing and spiritual growth had taken place within my life. Those thirty minutes helped free me from a numbing fear that had taken root in me years before. I have always felt a great fondness for the city of Montreal and have enjoyed visiting it over the years, however the city now holds a completely different meaning for me - spiritual freedom and liberty, the discovery of just how far the healing powers of God's hand can reach.
I may never be able to fully explain the feelings and emotions sparked by my visit to the cathedral. A seemingly random act with profound repercussions, not a mere passing feeling to be forgotten a few days later. The event was a huge stepping stone for me, something I have held onto that I trust has marked me for the rest of my life. Far from home, I suddenly felt at home. I walked into the church unsure of why I was being drawn inside; I walked out astounded by what had taken place within me.
That evening as I sat in my hotel room I spoke with God about the remarkable experience earlier in the day. This is a part of that conversation:
"I find it interesting that of all the places I have visited in this city, what I cherish most are the churches. The opportunity to sit in their cool quiet interiors and know that in all of them you are celebrated, and that you are there. So it was as well in the massive, cool, quiet and peaceful Cathedral. Walking in I noticed a sign announcing a Holy Eucharist would take place at noon. I didn't have to think about my decision to attend. It just seemed natural. No anxiety. A knowing that it was what I needed.
Attending the service, having the ability to walk through the church doors without anxiety over what would be awaiting me. Knowing the liturgy and responses by heart, even though spoken in a language not my own. The ability to sit in the chapel calmly and peacefully. Each of these things showed me, the fear that once prevailed over me, the fear of church, clergy and you, God, had subsided. Replaced by something new, calming and peaceful.
Following the service I was able to meet the celebrant, Reverend Clarke. Calmly, I was able to speak to him, confidently I shook his hand and was able to look him in the eyes. I was not afraid, as I have often been in the past when speaking with clergy. I was calm, peaceful, and completely at home in the church of my chosen faith.
I believe, God, that you led me into that church today to show me how far I have grown. To show me that the fear that once consumed me has been replaced with a deep and peaceful calm that reaches the deepest part of my soul.
As I close this prayer to you, a few lines from a Latin prayer that has pulled me through so much, in so many ways, echos softly inside my head ...
Gloria in Excelsis Deo - Glory to God in the Highest.
Amen"
This story represents a major turning point in my spiritual life. I have carried this remarkable experience with me ever since returning home from Montreal, and it has most definitely affected how I interact within my own Parish here in London. Shortly before leaving for Montreal I was approached by a member of our Readers' Guild and asked to join; I told them I would think about it and let them know,hesitant at the time to commit I left for Montreal. My time in Christ Church Cathedral showed me that God heals all wounds, and that whatever was done to me in the past no longer affects the way I see God or the Church.
Had I not chosen to go to the Cathedral would I be where I am now? Who knows... perhaps God would have shown me another way, another Church. God directed me to the Cathedral for a reason. I now think of this magnificent place as my church home away from home, and I look forward to returning to it some day.
And yes, when I returned to London I accepted the offer to become a member of our Readers' Guild.
May you be blessed in all that you do, living each day as it comes; always listening for God's gentle knock at your heart. You never know where He will lead you and what remarkable journey you will be put on unless you listen...
